This Is Awkward, Lancaster

Just at Starbucks lowkey chillin’ with my friend Bob, who drives a bright blue Porsche. Jk we’re totally not friends, but is he here like every day or what? Because I’ve seriously been. BEEN HERE. At Starbucks. Every day. Because: no internet. I mean, who even lives without internet? (Apparently me, until Thursday.)

My dear readers: I’ve moved to Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. If you don’t already know how I feel about this place, read my archives.


Besides going to Starbucks every day, I’ve also gone to Walmart every day. Guys, there seriously must be some kind of convention in town because I went to Walmart and only ALL THE MENNONITES OF ALL CREATION WERE THERE. And then I realized: …oh wait, no convention… just… L a n c a s t e r.

“Mom, I can’t do this. I can’t live here.”

“Well, we’re not packing up all your stuff and taking it back home!” she huffs.

Moving has been a cheerful combination of the following:

  1. Weeklong flu-bug from hell
  2. My laptop (only my WHOLE LIFE) going kaput
  3. Finding out my bank doesn’t exist in this state
  4. Finding out all my money is frozen for several days at my new bank (welcome to Pennsylvania!)
  5. Finding out my health insurance isn’t accepted in this state
  6. Worst of all, finding out Pennsylvania libraries don’t have educator cards (Seriously? Who has only a REGULAR library card?)

A bit of an emotional rollercoaster, it’s been. Basically, my only wish is: can I eat food again? I’m feeling rapturous! (Er, I mean, ravenous.)

We here at Shastas’s Fog also like to look on the bright side:

  1. My brother-in-law’s parents and a church family DONATED the use of a nice truck and trailer to move me.
  2. While my laptop is being fixed, my sister lent me her laptop for three weeks because let’s face it: she’s pretty selfless.
  3. While moving, I found $$$ in an old Bible as I was putting it on its new shelf. (Let this be a lesson: first, you should always read books. Second, because no one else reads books, it is a safe place to stuff your cash. #threeyearslater)
  4. I now live next to a cupcake shop.
  5. Let’s have a moment of silence for #4.

More posts and updates coming this summer! Thanks for reading!

9 thoughts on “This Is Awkward, Lancaster”

  1. My sympathies….says she who grew up there and has been gone for a long time! There are lots of things I miss and quite a few I don’t….part of my time away included living in Alberta and watching cool people like Amy grow up:) anyway the question remains, what took you to Lancaster??:)

  2. Don’t run away, Esther! Lancaster needs you. As soon as my health improves, I shall stalk every little cupcake shop in Ephrata to find out where you live. 🙂

  3. It’s a bit of a shock to midwestern sensibilities, but Lancaster is okay. We lived in your locale for 4.5 years. Now we’re just west of the town. Come visit the River Brethren some Sunday. (Laura C. of Oasis can give you details.)

  4. Oh wait…I was thinking you were not only in Lancaster County but Lancaster City. That accounts for all the Mennonites. (The ones farther south don’t frequent Walmart quite as much…) My mistake. You can still come visit the River Brethren.

  5. ps I would invite you for a meal. You could eat at our non-oak table. I would also invite Laura, who is fun, and you and she and my husband could swap teacher/English stories.

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